Dear Self

This entire week I looked forward to being off of work today. I had visions of waking up, showering leisurely, taking Emma to school and coming home  to enjoy a delicious cup of Eggnog coffee before starting my chores. I planned to spend the morning putting away laundry and cleaning in preparation for my family's arrival. In the afternoon, I was going to visit a friend and her new baby and then go pick Emma up early from school.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is present me laughing at that rainbow colored glasses wearing version of me. Instead, I spent most of last night listening to my sick husband snore in a Nyquil induced stupor and then just as I started to sleep around 2 am, Emma woke up with a 103 fever. The rest of the night was spent watching Nic Jr. with a boiling hot baby next to me. :(  Today, my husband proclaims he is dying and can't move off of the sofa. So, I pack up the baby in the car, drop off the ziti with my friend who had the baby and then come home and put my sweet girl down for a nap. While she naps, I run and pick up a prescription for Mike at Target and grocery shop at Martins. What the hell was I thinking to do either of these on the Friday before Christmas? I congratulate myself on not hurting anyone or losing my temper. I get a call while in the checkout line from Mike that says that Emma's temp is now 104. I get through the line, beg  her doctor to see her before her 3:30 appointment and rush her over to the doctor's office. In the examine room, I hold her down while the nurse swabs her throat for strep. Then I spend the next 45 minutes entertaining a cranky child with no props to help me. Finally, with a diagnosis of strep we head home...both of us exhausted. An early bath done, Emma is down for the count. I take a minute to write this blog entry and then there are dishes calling my name while my husband snores on the sofa.

Merry Christmas!

Life Changing

The other day I was looking at videos of Emma we have taken since she arrived on the scene. I can watch them over and over and over. Her little personality is evident the first day we brought her home. She has always been quick to laugh and to make us laugh. Watching her grow up before my eyes made me a little sad but it also filled my heart to bursting. I have always loved children but I had no idea  that your own child would fill you with the take my breath away kind of love. Other parents will know what I mean. One minute you can be so mad and your child will give you a hug or a smile and you forget whatever it was you were mad at her about in the first place. When she cries I just want to comfort her and  when she laughs,  which she does A LOT, I just want to bottle it up and take it with me everywhere I go. Someone the other day said that having a little one is like having a drug addiction (not really but follow me for a second), you are always trying to get your next fix of that laugh or hug or kiss or other adorable thing that she or he bestows upon you. It is truly glorious.

Everyone around me is having their second, third or fourth child and Mike and I are looking forward to the time when we have our second some day. However, I wonder how can I love another child as much as I love Emma. It must be possible because people go on to have more than one child all the time. Guess we'll have to wait our turn to see.

On another completely separate note, my favorite thing that Emma does now is play with our pets. She is completely obsessed with Ellie and the cats. Murphy will let her do whatever she wants to him including pulling his tail or laying on him. Ellie will play with her and let her hug her. Ellie has never let anyone hug her in the 8 years I've had her. Right this second she has found a cat toy and is playing with Mattie. It's quite funny. I think having a pet is so great for a kid. Ahh...I hear baby laughter! LOVE IT.

Disney World

Emma enjoyed the fountains in Savannah, GA.

Emma and Mommy at the foutain in Forsyth Park. One of many memories Emma slept through.

Emma's 1st Day of Disney outfit.

Emma running away from Phineas.

Emma and her Pop Pop watching the Mickey show at Magic Kingdom.

Emma loved the Aladdin Magic Carpet ride.

Big girl can ride the carousel all  by herself.

Emma's new friend Minnie is as big as she is.

Emma getting ready to pet Mickey.

Emma petting a goat.

We are back from vacation. It was incredible. When we started planning our trip I thought there would be very little that Emma would be able to do. So not true. She enjoyed the Dumbo ride, It's a Small World, Aladdin's Magic Carpet, countless shows and other rides along with the petting zoo at Animal Kingdom and the safari ride. But the things she loved the most were the simple things. While waiting in line to meet Phineas and Ferb she grew restless- go figure. Fortunately the quick thinking folks at Disney World know how to handle restless kids- give them sidewalk chalk and let them draw. Emma had a blast doing this and threw a fit when she had to meet P and F. (More on characters in a minute) Then we went to a few shows where bubbles were released. HUGE HIT. She loves bubbles. Finally, on Epcot day I knew we were going to letter her play in the fountains like they have at Stony Point. The kid became the show with countless families (mostly European oddly enough) stopping to watch her and a few even took pictures. When the water disappeared she'd look up and hold her hands out and say "Where water go?" It was adorable. Mike has video of this so I'll try to get that from him tonight. Now on to the characters. Our girl was all about meeting some characters and kept telling us she was ready that is right up until it was time to say hello to Mickey or Minnie or Goofy or Daisy or one of the others. Even her favorite Pooh was not enough to overcome her shyness. Of course after we left she cried POOOOOOHHHHHH and HUUUGGGGG. But it was too late. Perhaps next time she'll be excited but at least she didn't cry or scream and just generally stood there and petted them. I'll take that.

Let me tell you what wasn't fun about our trip to Disney. The car ride. Yes in the interest of saving money we decided to drive. Now mind you we drove the Dodge Ram and spent $400 in gas. In retrospect it would have been cheaper to fly and probably less stressful. But we like our stuff and I insisted on taking the jogging stroller so there you go. Fortunately, we brought along our old school portable DVD player and Curious George on DVD. Between that and Toy Story our sweet girl did great. She did not like being in a car seat for 11 hours but with frequent stops and lunch somewhere she could play for a bit she did just fine. Me not so much...that's 10 hours too many for me in a car. LOL.

Blessings

Normally when I blog I write about Emma's antics and the trials and tribulations of being a parent. Today, I want to write about the blessing of having a child. Before I was married I never really thought about fertility and just assumed that when the time came that I'd get pregnant and all would be well. Well when the time came, nothing happened. For a year and a half I peed on a stick to check ovulation and did all the other tricks like taking Mucinex to thin mucus and many others that I don't care to share here. (Your welcome) Then I got pregnant. I was late and though the pee on the stick tests did not indiciate I was pregnant, I was convinced so I went to Patient First and had a blood test. Sure enough I was pregnant. We were excited! But the excitement wouldn't last long. The next day I started bleeding and ended up in the ER, I had miscarried at 6 weeks. Something was not right. So, my OB did a biopsy of my uterus. Shortly there after I was diagnosed with a Luteal Phase Defect which is a fancy way to say that the time between when I ovulate and when Aunt Flow comes is too short to give the embryo time to get good and snuggly in my uterus. At the same time, Mike was diagnosed with less than straight little swimmers. We're quite the pair. My doctor prescribed Clomid and by the Grace of God we were pregnant with our little Emma. We had hoped that my LPD would have corrected itself after Emma was born but it has not and so when we start trying again I will be on Clomid with the hopes that it works again.

I say all of this to say this- I am so incredibly grateful to have my precious angel no matter how much she may drive me crazy at times. Each day with her is a blessing because in truth we were lucky to have her and who knows if we will be blessed again. I also share this because there are so many people out there who abuse their children, neglect their children or harm their children or just don't realize how lucky they are to get pregnant on the first try. Children are a blessing from God and should be nurtured and loved and sheltered from all the bad in the world for as long as possible. On my mind a lot lately is my high school friend Deanna's little girl Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn has a rare fatal genetic disease. She is 2 years and 4 months old and her life is coming to an end. Deanna does not see Kaitlyn as a burden nor her disease as a prevention from treating Kaitlyn like the precious child that she is. Kaitlyn lives life and Deanna and her family treat her as the blessing that she is.

So Moms and Dads and those that someday will be parents, love your children through the tantrums, crazy antics and teenage years for they really are God's gift to us.

Fall fun

I see commercials on television for Christmas and I just can't believe that we are into the month of November all ready. I still feel like it was just July! The Toscanos have been having a ball this fall though and here are just a few pictures to enjoy. Little Emma, though mischeavous as ever, sure is cute!

Emma loves music class at school.

Mom, can I pick up this pumpkin?

Emma and her daddy strolling through the Ashland Berry Farm.

Emma and her BFF Morgan had fun trick or treating together.

Emma was the cutest witch on the block for Halloween.

Terrible Twos

Last Friday, Emma got sent home with a note. Apparently after coming in from the playground, she got mad at one of her friends, "hulked up" as we call it and put her hands around her friends throat. When the teacher told her to keep her hands to herself, she lost her little baby mind and had to be removed from the room to "deescalate." When I got there and tried to talk to her about it, she started to scream and cry all over again. This continued until we were on the sidewalk when she got mad at me for something (I can't remember what) and threw herself on the sidewalk and cried for five minutes while I stood there. Eventually she calmed down and we drove home, her crying off and on the entire way. We got home and she got mad again, threw her cup of milk at me and actually kicked the dog! After I fed her dinner, she was like an entirely different child-sweet, accomodating and happy.

On Tuesday, she tried to bite the same friend at school. Once again, after coming in from the playground Emma went to sit on the blue rug and as usually happens the kids began tripping and falling all over each other. Emma apparently had had enough and bit down on her friends shoe.

Yesterday (Wednesday) we got a happy gram. Normally happy grams say something like "Emma was a great helper today or Emma peed in the potty." Something really good like that. This happy gram said that Emma did a great job today keeping her hands to herself and we are working on teaching her to use her words instead of hitting or biting when she is angry. I'm serious. Our child's behavior has been so bad that a happy gram is earned just by not trying to harm another child. Awesome.

According to the school's director, this is very common at Emma's age because the kids don't know how to express anger or tell someone to leave them alone so they react the only way they know how. This still doesn't make me feel better and it certainly doesn't make this phase any easier.

I really shouldn't be surprised. I was a biter and a bit of a slugger myself. Perhaps it comes with being the oldest child and being a girl. Perhaps it's the Coleman/Toscano temper?  Whatever it is, I sure hope that we see the end of this phase sooner than later. If Emma started the terrible twos at one, don't you think we should be nearing the end soon? I sure hope so.

What to do when parents disagree?

When baby Emma was born Mike and I generally agreed on what to do. We had taken all of the same classes and because I had experience with babies frequently it was my call on what to do. Now, we both have very specific ideas on things. Emma has sensed this I think and knows that if she goes to Daddy she can get her way 99% of the time. I'm sure this is true of most little girls and their daddies. I'm pretty sure it was true of me and my dad. (I'm not sure because he died when I was 4.) It seems like I am the one who always has to say no and be the voice of reason. Frequently I find myself saying things like:
"No, Emma doesn't need another toy (while we are at Target)."
"Emma cant' stay up to watch XYZ she has to go to bed."
"Emma can't learn to ice skate until she is at least 3."

I am certain that this is a common issue in everyone's house. Perhaps I should feel very blessed that my husband is so involved with raising our child but to be honest sometimes I just want him to butt out and let me do things my own way. I'm sure that he would say the same thing about me.  LOL!